People Aren’t Resistant to Change; They’re Resistant to LOSS
This is part 1 of a 2-part series on change management. Please also read the June 1 post: “Once You Know What They Value, Then What?”
There's a familiar frustration in leadership: you've done the analysis, made the case, brought the evidence, and still the room doesn't move. A board member digs in. A department head doesn't do what you asked them to. A community group organizes against a plan that seems, to you, plainly in everyone's interest. The instinct is to push harder, explain better, bring more data. But that instinct is usually wrong.
When someone resists change, they're almost never doing it because they don't understand the facts. They're doing it because they're protecting something. That reframe isn't just a more generous way of leading. It's a more effective one. Before you can move people, you need to understand what's keeping them where they are.
The moment you understand what someone's protecting, what they stand to lose, and who they're loyal to, you stop seeing an obstacle and start seeing a person.
Three Questions to Diagnose Resistance
When someone's blocking progress on something you're trying to move, try to answer these three questions before your next move.
What value are they protecting? Fairness. Efficiency. Harmony. Authenticity. People don't resist because they're bad actors. They resist because they're standing on something they believe in.
What would they lose? Status, identity, belonging, moral certainty. Change always asks someone to give something up. If you haven't named what that is, the loss lives underground and drives the resistance.
Who are they loyal to? A person, a constituency, a narrative about what good governance looks like. Loyalty isn't obstruction. It's obligation. Understanding it changes how you engage.
Resistance that looks like opposition is often grief. People fight to preserve what they fear is already gone. A community argues against a program change not because they don't understand the rationale, but because the program is one of the last things that makes them feel seen by an institution that once served them well. Giving people space to acknowledge that loss, to say goodbye before being asked to move forward, isn't soft leadership. It's the work. People often fight yesterday's battle, protecting what's already gone. Help them say goodbye before you ask them to move.
The right response to a resistant colleague or community stakeholder isn't a better slide deck. It's a conversation about what they value, what they're afraid of losing, and who they feel accountable to. It means slowing down before intervening and making sure your next move addresses the real source of the friction rather than its surface presentation.
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